32 Days

As I prepared physically, mentally and spiritually for 32 days in Haiti fear would creep in once in a while. Fear of loneliness, rheumatoid arthritis, longing for my family and fear of falling in love to the point of no return. I was going to be living in an orphanage with 50 kids whom desperately needed a mom to love them, nurture them, teach them and all I wanted is to be a mom again. I wanted to love, nurture, teach and I didn't have children to do so. I know, it was the perfect formula to falling in love with a child or a couple children. It's inevitable! What was I thinking?!

I've believed for most of my life in loving fearlessly, living passionately and (in the past ten years) in walking in faith. Haiti was no exception! I had already fallen in love with the cutest little couple of kids but I never expected what would happen in the next 32 days. I fell in love with all 50 kids! They were the reason for every single day there. God had taken me to this place for such a time as this! A time of genuine unconditional and selfless love. These children cooed their way in to my heart. These children served their way into my heart. These children played their way into my heart and I was head over heels for them.

They serenaded me, they helped me when I was sick, they prayed over me, they ran across a rocky courtyard into my arms and day and night my name was chanted in songs! They took my breath away they made me feel loved, wanted, and valued. All of the things, they lacked in feeling; loved, wanted, and valued. How can that be? How can they abundantly give what they don't get?

See these children have horrid stories of rejection, abandonment, and of loss. They have felt so much more rejection in their short lives than I ever could fathom in mine. They have survived maltreatment that is unimaginable in our world. They have withstood the loss of their families through horrible events. How? How can they have the capacity to give what they haven't received or lost along their short lives. There is where I see Jesus! Jesus restorative power! They represent an unwanted, unloved, and undeserving group of people in society, yes these precious loving children. Yet the Bible talks about how to care for these children over and over.

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is the story of Esther. She was Jewish girl who was orphaned when her parents died and was adopted by an uncle. This little orphan girl named Hadassah turned to be Queen Esther. The Queen of over 127 provinces that stretched out from India all the way to Ethiopia! The one who saved the Jews from total annihilation. An orphan turned queen and used by God for the salvation of a whole nation.

God has a purpose for each and everyone of the 50 children I lived with in Haiti. He loves them, He wants them and He values each and every single one. He considers them masterpieces and beloved. He is their protector, their defender and he seeks justice for them all. And he calls us to do the same!

So there I was in the middle of a hot Haitian day, sitting under the jasmine tree, I sat wondering how God only called me to adopt two and not fifty. :)